I don’t flatter myself that anyone’s waiting breathlessly for my next post, but here’s a brief post just to explain my sudden non-posting after just a month of blogging. I find myself in a bit of a health crisis. Not the painful or fatal sort, but difficult nonetheless. In short, I can’t sleep. Tests have revealed that I have almost no melatonin, which enables restful sleep, and that I also lack cortisol, which helps you get up in the morning. If you’ve ever experienced days in a row of little sleep (mothers of the world, my respect for you deepens all the more), you know what I’m going through. Marry that with a demanding new job, and you get the pile of mush that I currently am.
I am confident that I’ll eventually get this licked and return to my functional self. Until then, experimentation with sleep aids and their side effects continues. I will couch this time as a healing crisis, the darkness before the dawn. In being stripped down to the bare minimum, where I have almost nothing to give and can barely concentrate enough to pray, I recognize how much I rely on my own steam, and how large God’s kindness is in carrying me at all times. And in God’s economy, everything can be repurposed for the sake of uncovering and discovering the true self.